Please be patient. A whole new experience is on the horizon...

Start:Jul 05, 2020

Duration:10 Minute(s)

Goal: this Cognitive Trail will improve the ability to make friends who bring out the best in you (My Space).

Description: 'My Space' is part of The Next Step navigational series. Use it like a GPS. Each day it gives specific steps to help you choose friends and ... Read More


Step 1

Today's challenge is a continuation from yesterday.

Take the steps necessary to distance yourself from someone who's steering you away from your goals.

That first step takes place in your mind. What you're going to do is to mentally follow the process through to its logical ending.

It's like this: Think about the fact that if you agree to do this and follow through, then you're stepping away from a person who is compromising your future, but you're positioning yourself to meet people who are for you and not against you.

Get a mental picture about what that could look and feel like.

Step 2

While you experience some conflict in making the decision, if you felt freedom and relief after picturing what your life would be like without the negative person, then it likely was the right decision.

Think of it this way: Picture yourself sinking in quicksand. Now get an image of yourself being rescued from certain death.

That's what it feels like to leave a bad friendship. It's freeing. Leaving that relationship is like being rescued from catastrophe.

How much did this image speak to you?

Step 3

How do you follow through for real?

Take what you gained through those mental images and use them as a source of strength and courage.

What you're doing may make you feel a little guilty, but don't let those thoughts prevent you from doing what's right.

Whether they meant to or not, this person was blocking you from the life you were meant to live. Maybe you had some good times. Maybe they were there for you when you needed them. Maybe not.

That's beside the point. You're at a cross road.

To take the path to freedom and the life that is meant for you, you have to leave behind people who can't or won't go with you or who would prevent you from going at all.

The other path is to remain with the person who doesn't care about your future and suffer the consequences.

It's that simple.

Which path are you going to take?

Step 4

If you said yes to separating from negative influencers, then don't forget to ask an older, wiser friend for encouragement.

You already have our friendship through these navitents (navigational steps).

It's vitally important to follow your path with someone who can guide you in the right direction.


Because guilt has a way of creeping in to undermine your resolve. You'll need support to hold firm on your decision.

The biggest mistake you will make in life is to think
* you're alone
* that you'll always have to do things on your own
* that you owe that person your allegiance

Remember the quicksand analogy. It'll help you stay strong.

As for being alone, keep in mind the Testudo philosophy - overlapping shields.

Will you contact someone older and wiser to help you remain strong?

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