Please be patient. A whole new experience is on the horizon...

Start:Jul 04, 2020

Duration:15 Minute(s)

Goal: this Cognitive Trail will improve the ability to overcome emotions that result in painful outcomes (Blind Spots).

Description: 'Blind Spots' is part of The Next Step series designed as a personal nav system. Each day it offers specific step-by-step guidance to help ... Read More

Summary:

Step 1

Go to the video icon above and watch a pivotal scene from 'A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.'

Let us know how it made you feel when you've finished.

Step 2

We hope the message goes deep.

The truth is that you were "loved into being" as Mr. Rogers said.

Loved? Yes. Think about it.

Did you have a CASA, mentor, teacher, coach, neighbor, friend, family member or someone who showed up at the right time and told you the one thing you needed to hear just when you needed to hear it?

Has someone helped or encouraged you through a tough time?

Is someone supporting you now through a difficult situation?

That's love.

How much do you agree that you've been on the receiving end of genuine affection even if you didn't realize it at the time?

Step 3

There are a couple of emotions that often get in the way of feeling loved or being loving. Their goal is to shut down love, blocking you from receiving something very special.

Pride. Shame.

Two sides of the same bad coin. No one's immune. We all look at one side or the other of this coin at some point. It does a lot of damage.

It creates blind spots.

It generates baggage.

It fuels behavior that we can't seem to control.

Do you want to know how to defeat what's blocking the love you're intended to receive?

Step 4

Recall the last time someone came into your life and treated you really well, but you pushed them away.

Why? Could the problem have been that you didn't feel you deserved it?

If you said 'yes', then you've stared too long at the wrong side of the coin called 'shame'.

The flip side of that coin was in view too. Pushing someone away was the result of pride. You wanted to hurt them in order to avoid being hurt.

If you believe this is true about you, then how much do you want out of the cycle?

Step 5

Rather than allow shame or pride to block the love and respect you're being offered, use the emotions as a red flag.

When you feel the urge to hang your head or push someone away who doesn't deserve it, stop.

Think about how you're feeling.

Make yourself hang in there with them.

Use that perseverance we talked about yesterday in Day 10.

To do that, recognize the negative impulse. Rather than react from a sense of 'I don't deserve it' or 'You won't hurt me,' silently recall every positive thing about yourself.

Can you do that?

Step 6

Practice now.

Recall as many good things about yourself as you can. It could be every positive quality you can think of in yourself, kind things you've done, encouraging comments, times you've helped someone.

Do it now. Recall the good things.

Step 7

Those are the qualities that describe the real you.

'Real you' deserves the love you're being offered.

'Real you' deserves the chance to offer love and respect.

Why? It brings you a deep sense of joy and satisfaction.

How much do you believe that no matter what's been done to you or what you've said or done, you deserve to love and be loved?

Step 8

Mentally take the coin with the two sides marked 'shame' and 'pride' and toss it as far as you can away from you.

Picture it rolling into the gutter, sliding down with a barely audible 'clink' as it hits the bottom.

It's gone. It can't be retrieved.

Now get an image of yourself walking in the opposite direction toward a fresh new start. The farther away from that bad coin you get, the more freedom you experience.

Can you feel it?

What's it like?

Step 9

When tempted to go back for that coin, remember who you are.

Hang in there.

Remember you've been given a new start with new opportunities and new do overs.

Will you hang in there and think about that new start?

Step 10

In fact, why don't you switch coins?

Keep a dime in your pocket. When tempted, pull it out and look at the 'head'. It reads, 'liberty.'

That's what you're after - feeling carefree to be who you are.

Try it?

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