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Title: Day 11_Fear is Easy-Love is Hard
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Goal: this task will improve the confidence about the goal to resolve differences (Say What?! Escape from Drama).
Next Step - JP published this Cognitive Task at under Societal | Foster Care and Education | Interpersonal and Social Skills
Doers: 8 | Form: Cognitive Task | Phase: | Type: Primary | Level: 1 | Code:
Start: Dec 06, 2019 | When: | Duration: 10 Minute(s)
  • Go to the 'demo' tab and see how this song lands with you.

    “Fear is Easy. Love is Hard.”

    Let us know what you thought about the video when you've finished watching it.
  • There are a lot of things that can trip us up, making us want to react. The pain is real.

    Fear is easy. Most of us are used to it. It's our "go-to" emotion.

    It's love that's hard. Why? It takes trust to pull it off.

    Love is that strength deep inside us that chooses to overcome our mistrust and knock down walls that divide, hurt and isolate.

    How often do you find it difficult to let your guard down, especially during conflict?
  • Letting your guard down and risking hurt and rejection is hard for most us.

    It requires the strength and courage to trust someone when everything in the past has said to protect yourself.

    That's where love comes in.

    Love begins as you force yourself to stop making assumptions about yourself and others that contribute to more pain.

    Think about it.

    It takes courage to treat people like you want to be treated.

    Describe one or two things you can do differently to treat yourself and others better when you feel hurt or misunderstood during an argument.
  • The Drama Busters we've been giving you offer a chance to step back from the emotional part of a disagreement to gain perspective. They help you rise above your feelings.

    As one of our isoBloggers often said, "I'm in my emotions. I gotta get out of my emotions."

    Here's a recap:

    1- Be honest. Stay calm.
    2- Ears first. Mouth second.
    3- Don’t assume. Ask.
    4- Keep it chill.
    5- Own your stuff. Uncover blind spots.
    6- Recognize that the other person cares about you if they're still in the argument.

    Let's add one more:
    7- Release offense. Trust people are there to help, not to intentionally hurt or embarrass you.

    How much help have these tips been so far?
  • You're a strong person. Show it. Don't use a passive voice, but don't go ballistic.

    *Stand tall and look at the other person directly.
    *Keep an open and nonaggressive expression.
    *Command respect and show respect.
    *Jokes probably won't be appreciated if the conversation heats up, and, for goodness sake, keep the sarcasm and eye rolls out of it.
    *Stick to the subject and show a little empathy. (look it up)

    Let's take a break for just a second.

    Go look in a mirror and re-enact the expression on your face during the last argument when you went off the deep end - or when you went silent.

    Report back about what that expression looked like, and how you feel about it now that you see the other person saw.
  • Now return to the mirror.

    Re-enact the discussion in your mind but this time with the Drama Busters in play.

    Return and answer the questions when you've finished.

    a- Was your expression any different? If so, how so?
    b- Were you more confident the first or second time?
    c- Will you give the second one a chance, assuming it calmed you down and helped you see things more clearly?
  • We're going to be upfront with you because we think you deserve the respect that honesty offers.

    Here goes.

    Being assertive comes across as strong but respectful.

    Being aggressive, on the other hand, comes across as a disrespectful, bullying, pain in the.... you know what we're saying here.

    However, if you're submissive, then don't fool yourself. Being passive comes across as weak and a pain in the.....

    In other words, don't let your body language, tone of voice or facial expressions fuel the fire.

    The goal is to solve the disagreement so both people feel relieved they were heard.

    The end result will be that you both begin to trust each other more. Those walls start coming down. Life looks a little brighter.

    That's love, my friend.

    How confident are you about trying out these tips during your next disagreement?
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