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Title: Day 12_Feeling It
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Goal: this task will improve the confidence about the goal to resolve differences (Say What?! Escape from Drama).
Next Step - JP published this Cognitive Task at isodoit.com under Societal | Foster Care and Education | Interpersonal and Social Skills
Doers: 7 | Form: Cognitive Task | Phase: | Type: Primary | Level: 1 | Code:
Start: Dec 14, 2019 | When: | Duration: 10 Minute(s)
Steps:
  • How often have you found yourself using what you've learned so far about conflict?
    response:
  • If you've been practicing the steps, then describe how people have responded.
    response:
  • Let's do a quick review of the Drama Busters up to this point:

    1- Be honest.
    2- Ears first. Mouth second.
    3- Don’t assume. Ask.
    4- Keep it chill.
    5- Own your stuff.
    6- Recognize that the other person cares about you.
    7- Release offense.

    Which ones are getting easier for you?
    Which ones are a little harder?
    response:
  • It's okay if some of the Drama Busters are harder than others.

    This is a new way of approaching something that already comes with a lot of stress.

    Give yourself time to adjust.

    But how about those filters? You know, the perceptions or assumptions you make about people or situations that cause you to have blindspots about your reactions.

    Equally harmful, they can make you see "ghosts", issues that aren't really there. They were in your past, not your present.

    Are you learning which filters trip you up the most? Is so, which ones are they?
    response:
  • How about "ghosts" or blindspots?

    In other words, where are faulty perceptions making you see a conflict that doesn't really exist?

    If you're not sure, talk to a friend or that older wiser person we asked you to find earlier. They'll be able to answer, but you'll have to accept that what they say is true. You just may not be able to see it yet.

    When you have the answer, write it in the space provided.
    response:
  • Ready for the next Drama Buster?

    8- Humble yourself. Lower your guard. Swallow your pride.

    Humble yourself enough to admit that you could be wrong. Trust that the other person, if usually reasonable and rational, may be hanging in there with you because they actually like and respect you.

    Can you do both of these: 1) Humble yourself. 2) Lower your guard?
    response:
  • As you honestly assess the filters that contribute to arguments that go sideways, the realization alone does something to you.

    It inspires you to see that others struggle in the same way.

    Something even better happens next. More trust. You see, honesty brings realization; realization causes sharing; sharing brings down the walls that protect you from feeling vulnerable.

    Now you can trust that the other person cares enough to hang in there and talk things out.

    How much do you value this process enough to keep going with it?
    response:
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