Please be patient. A whole new experience is on the horizon...

Start:Jul 05, 2020

Duration:10 Minute(s)

Goal: this Cognitive Trail will improve the ability to separate fact from fiction. (Perception vs. Reality).

Description: 'Perception vs. Reality' is part of The Next Step navigational series designed as a GPS for transition-age foster youth and other young adul ... Read More


Step 1

During a typical day at school or work, when someone gives what you think is an odd look, seems intense, or says or does something that makes you feel uneasy or angry:


Visualize an actor like Michael B. Jordan or Lupita Nyong'o. They have it.

The reason they have it isn't the fame. It's not the fortune. It's that they know who they are on the inside, and that confidence is what we see on the outside.

How confident are you that being you is enough?

Step 2

Who are you?

Step 3

When you realize that being yourself is enough, you can approach potentially difficult conversations with a lot less stress and a lot more confidence.

When you see something that makes you wonder if you're on someone's bad side, take your 'I know who I am' approach and confront your misgivings.

To kick start the conversation, you could say something like, "Your expression made me wonder if something was wrong. Were you deep in thought, having a bad day, or upset with me about something?"

*LISTEN with both ears, a closed mouth and an open mind. This is a lot easier to do when you know who you are.

*ACKNOWLEDGE that you heard them.

*RESPOND calmly. You could say, "when you did ...... (fill in the blank), I took it as... (fill in the blank). But what did you mean by it?"

The point isn't intimidation. Go for a win-win where each person walks away feeling good, feeling respected, and feeling free to be themselves.

Are you feeling it so far?

Step 4

After the conversation you'll be able to put down another survival tool: the need to have the upper hand or the flip side which is the need to avoid conflict.

Your new tool is the ability to determine the reality of a situation rather than relying upon assumptions.

How much do you think these tips will help you in the long run?

Step 5

Go to the video icon and watch the late great, Maya Angelou, give her take on the power of words.

Afterwards tell us how she made you feel.

Step 6

Ms. Angelou also said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Picture a person who you just can't seem to get along with for whatever reason.

What do you think would happen if you followed Ms. Angelou's advice? Write about it in the space below.

Step 7

If you are enough just as you are, then that confidence is what tends to cause an interaction go your way.

The power of words begins with what you tell yourself.

What do you think about that?

Step 8

When the time comes, how willing are you to have this conversation for real?

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