Please be patient. A whole new experience is on the horizon...

Start:Jul 04, 2020

Duration:15 Minute(s)

Goal: this Cognitive Trail will improve the confidence to resolve differences with your ego intact (Say What?! Escape from Drama).

Description: 'Escape Drama' is part of The Next Step navigational series developed by Jeremiah's Promise (JP). It's designed to be a personal GPS to prov ... Read More

Summary:

Step 1

Watch the clip from the video icon above, then return to let us know what you thought about it.

Step 2

Elsa learned the hard way that you can't run from your fears. You can't run from failure. You have to let your guard down and trust people who love you.

It won't work to bury yourself in shame. It just means you've given up on yourself.

Where's the love in that?

Shame is a by-product of grudges, even a grudge against yourself.

If your hurts festered into shame and regret then now's a great time to heal and leave the pain behind you.

Remember that if you're having conflict, it means someone cares enough to stay in the conversation.

Just hang onto that thought for a moment. You're not alone. Someone cares.

On a scale of 1 with 1 being 'frozen' to 10 with 10 being 'feeling very connected and respected', where would you place yourself?

Step 3

Self pity is a feeling nearly everyone can identify with.

If they can't, they're probably lying to themselves.

Self pity feeds shame. It makes us fight the wrong battles.

It makes us give in too easily or come on too aggressively.

It distorts our viewpoint and makes us run from those who are trying to ease our burdens.

Has anyone tried to help you out of a funk?

If so, who.

If not, think harder.

Step 4

In conflict think about your personhood. That's who you are at your core and includes your dignity and feelings of significance.

Describe what's good about you that you wish others would know and appreciate.

Step 5

When the dust swirls, focus on what's good about you.

Will you do that?

Step 6

Next focus on how you were feeling before the argument.

Then think about whether you could be bringing negative feelings into the disagreement, making things seem worse than they really are.

Will you try this?

Step 7

Pause and see - really see - the other person.

Repeat, "If they're in the conversation, that means they care."

Will you take a moment to appreciate that the other person cares about you before you open your mouth to say something hurtful?

Step 8

Identify the perception that might be wrong and fess up to it.

Will you do that?

Step 9

Apply the Drama Buster that will prevent self pity, shame or any other grudge from taking root.

Can you list one now from those mentioned below:

1- Be honest
2- Ears first. Mouth second.
3- Don’t assume. Ask.
4- Keep it chill.
5- Own your stuff
6- Recognize the other person cares about you.
7- Release offense
8- Humble yourself. Lower your guard. Swallow your pride.

Step 10

Here's Drama Buster #9:

9- Ask for help. Hear the truth. Practice saying, “I was wrong” - without adding, “but you…. or I don’t like it when you….”

Just stick to “I was wrong; I didn’t see that” until saying it feels right.

How confident are you that you can apply #9?

Step 11

It's important to remember why you're doing all of this.

It's so you can experience all the peace and happiness that's yours for the taking.

But you have to believe in it.

How much do you agree that the goal is a sense of stability and happiness in life, starting now?

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