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Title: Day 1_Not Always What It Seems
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Goal: this task will increase the confidence about the goal to quickly separate fact from fiction. (Perception vs. Reality).
JP The Next Step published this Cognitive Task at isodoit.com under Education | Personal Awareness and Self-Improvement and Societal | Relationships
Doers: 10 | Form: Cognitive Task | Phase: Foundation | Type: Primary | Level: 1 | Code:
Start: Dec 11, 2018 | When: | Duration: 15 Minute
Elements: ( element | product | description | amt )
  • Writing Supplies : Paper | Generic | Sticky notes | 1 Each
Steps:
  • Survival mode is a funny thing. Decisions have to be made quickly and acted upon decisively in the midst of conflict.

    But that same mindset can cause trouble when you're out of that situation but acting as if you're still in it.

    Conflict is going to happen. But it doesn't mean disaster if you're in an otherwise healthy relationship, work environment or living situation.

    However, if drama is all you've known up to this point, then how do you stop reacting to triggers?

    How can you stop reacting as if ALL conflict were a matter of "fight or flight"?

    How much can you relate to any of this?
    response:
  • Is it possible that you don't yet realize your circumstances have changed to the extent that you no longer need the survival tools that used to make you feel safe and in control?

    You know the tools we're talking about:
    *acting tough
    *talking loud
    *being cocky
    *making snap judgments
    *fighting
    *risky behavior to look cool
    *assuming people were against you
    *controlling others
    *critical of other
    *a need to be right all the time

    Maybe you use the opposite tools:
    *shrinking back when confronted by loud noises or booming voices
    *narrow definition of "intensity"
    *trying to blend in to the crowd or to be invisible in order to feel safe
    *afraid to take risks
    *agreeable no matter what you really feel
    *lost touch with what you really feel
    *controlling others
    *critical of others
    *a need to be right all the time

    Do any of these behaviors describe your typical reactions? If so, which ones?
    response:
  • How would your friends, classmates, boss, teachers, coaches or relatives answer that question about you?

    Take a deep breath. Exhale and answer as honestly as you can.
    response:
  • This isoCourse was developed to help you tell the difference between perception and reality, especially if you're no longer in danger but often feel threatened.

    Think of it this way. If you're out of the situation that made you adapt, then you can relax now and take steps to adjust to your new life.

    As you adjust, you may become aware that your past created "land mines" that may be triggered when you're stressed, making your emotions go haywire.

    This often blows things out of proportion. In other words, your perception is off.

    How often does this happen to you?
    response:
  • Not sure what we're talking about? Think about the following statements, and see which ones may apply to you.

    Do you tend to feel threatened and become defensive when someone:

    *speaks too loud or moves too fast toward you
    *approaches you with an unreadable expression
    *asks you to explain why you did something
    *questions your motives
    *looks at you in an odd way

    Do any of these situations make you want to shout, swear, or act tough with the person the moment you feel threatened?
    response:
  • How often do any of the above make you want to shut down, turn away or quit whatever you were doing?
    response:
  • Do you typically stop long enough to find out what's really happening?
    response:
  • For the sake of this conversation, we're only talking about ordinary, everyday circumstances.

    In most of these ordinary cases is there really a threat? Is someone really out to hurt or humiliate you?

    Could you be judging the circumstances incorrectly?

    Hey, give yourself a break. You got there because you had to survive. We understand that. We're here to help you adjust to your new reality and leave old survival skills behind.

    Do you think that your past experience sometimes (or often) causes you to perceive situations very differently than they actually are?
    response:
  • There's an Academy-award winning film, "Crash", that shows what perceptions cost others and how easy it is to misread people and the truth about situations.

    We're about to show you two scenes from that movie.

    In the first, a father gives his young daughter an "invisible cloak" to protect her from what she fears.

    In the second clip, the same father is falsely accused of not repairing a door which resulted in his customer's shop being vandalized. The accuser is a man who's had others assume false things about him, and he was treated badly as a result. The normally decent man is mad and out for revenge...taking it out on the wrong person....about the wrong thing.

    The young girl thinks she can protect her father with her new "cloak".

    Go to the 'demo' tab and watch these clips from Crash, and see if you can tell perception vs. reality.

    Let us know what you thought about the message from the clips when you've finished.
    response:
  • As the characters from Crash learned, it's vital to slow down and gain perspective before taking action.

    Learn to stop yourself from overreacting.

    Time is your friend. When triggered, pause. Ask questions. Gain insight.

    That may seem impossible now, but stick with us.

    Follow the isoBlogs day by day until you've mastered the ability to understand perception vs. reality.

    Will you commit to doing this each day for the next 21 days with no breaks for weekends or holidays?
    response:
  • That's enough for today. This was a lot to take in.

    Go do something nice for yourself and shake off any memories this session may have surfaced.

    You may have been through quite a lot, so give yourself time to make changes. It's a process.

    How do you feel about the isoCourse so far?
    response:
  • If you post to Publisher, check 'my journal' for responses. If you'll do the isoBlogs each day, you won't likely need to post for additional help. The system is designed to do that on its own.

    You are encouraged, however, to join a Next Step community and the JP team.

    Post your email address in the last open space on any isoBlog page. Let us know what city you live in and if you want to be placed in the same group as someone you know. You'll receive an invite from isodoit.com. Click on the link. You're in.

    To read posts, go to your Day Plan or view them in 'my journal'.

    If you're reading this isoBlog from another site, then you'll have to sign in and create an account to be able to post comments and save your responses.

    Will you commit to show up each day, do your isoBlog, and be honest with your answers?
    response:
  • We'll see you tomorrow!
    response:
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messages (1)
description
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Publisher JP The Next Step sent a message on Jul 24, 2018
Message: Welcome to The Next Step: Perception vs. Reality. The 6th in this series was developed to help isoBloggers understand fact from fiction in situations that may be triggering. For maximum benefit, do the isoBlogs along with a Next Step community using our social media platform. Post your email address in the last open box on the page, tell us the city/state where you live, and we'll set you up.
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