Please be patient. A whole new experience is on the horizon...

Start:Jul 16, 2020

Duration:10 Minute(s)

Goal: this Cognitive Trail will improve the ability to make friends who bring out the best in you (My Space).

Description: 'My Space' is part of The Next Step navigational series. Use it like a GPS. Each day it gives specific steps to help you choose friends and ... Read More


Step 1

If some or even all of your friends are tearing you down rather than building you up, is it time to rethink the value of having these people around?

Not sure what a healthy friendship looks like?

Picture a group of people linked together encircling you. All of you are working together, protectively, encouraging each other to accomplish a purpose that no one could have done alone.

Go to the 'video' icon and watch the clip from the movie 'Gladiator'. There are some violent parts to the clip. If it bothers you, then only watch the first 2 min and 20 seconds.

Tell us what you thought about the message when you've finished.

Step 2

Think about the scene where the main character, Maximus, and his fellow gladiators used interlocking - also called overlapping - shields to defeat their enemies.

These shields provide strength through a united group of people who are working together for a common purpose.

Would you like to know how to have a group of people like this in your life?

Step 3

If so, what's a common, positive purpose that you'd like to aim for?

Step 4

Your common purpose starts with similar values.

Values are the qualities most important to you at the very core of your being.

Values are ideals you will not negotiate. They're who you really are.
The very essence of who you are is most likely the same as - or similar to - the one-word adjective you used to describe yourself in Day 1.

List the values you won't abandon no matter what.

Step 5

These core values also are what you want to share in your friendships.

If for no other reason, consider choosing friends based upon positive, common core values so that the drama factor goes down - way down.

Now think about your friends' core values.

List the friends whose core values line up with yours.

Step 6

Which friends have values that are in conflict with yours?

Step 7

Do you find that you usually have a knot in your stomach when you're around certain people?

Step 8

If no, then you're well on your way to friendships that are meaningful and good.

If you answered yes in the step above, then will you agree to continue with these steps to find the friends who will bring you more happiness and stability into your life?

Step 9

Let's start the process of strengthening new friendships like those 'shields' we talked about earlier.

Think about that list of potential friends listed in previous Next Step navitents (navigational steps). Who can you reach out to who seems like they have similar values to yours based on what you know about them so far?

This can be someone from your past or someone you go to school with or a person in your neighborhood. It could be someone who works with you. It could be a boss or instructor.

We're going for friends who can Lead, Challenge, Encourage and Strengthen. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Step 10

When you've identified at least one person, find a way to reach out to them in the next 24 hours.

If no one is available, trust these steps for now.

Which option do you have available to you at this time?

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