Please be patient. A whole new experience is on the horizon...

Start:Jul 16, 2020

Duration:10 Minute(s)

Goal: this Cognitive Trail will improve the ability to overcome emotions that result in painful outcomes (Blind Spots).

Description: 'Blind Spots' is part of The Next Step series designed as a personal nav system. Each day it offers specific step-by-step guidance to help ... Read More

Summary:

Step 1

These steps are meant to help you deal with pain that may be hard to get to on your own.

The goal is to help you feel better about yourself and the future you have in front of you.

As part of the process, the occasional tough question can help you realize where you are at this point.

Take the quiz below. Be very honest.

Do you feel the need to:
1-Be right in every circumstance?
2-Be first in everything you do?
3-Be constantly in control?
4-Be perfect or avoid criticism at any cost?
5-Be loved by everyone?
6-Be possessive?
7-Avoid conflict and frustration at the expense of how you honestly feel?
8-Change others to meet your needs?
9-Manipulate others for fear you won't get your needs met any other way?
10-Blame others for things that go wrong?
11-Dominate others (i.e., talk over them, belittle them to make you look better than they are, or issue orders to friends or romantic partners, expecting them to obey without question)?

Step 2

Review your responses as objectively as possible.

A 'yes' on any of these is a tendency towards codependency, a trait often shown by those who have unhealed pain or trauma in their lives.

There's no judgement here.

The intent is to help you discover patterns, so you'll be able to be objective about their effect on you and those around you.

Is there a behavior from the quiz you'd like to change?

Step 3

What would you like to do differently?

Step 4

Find an older, wiser friend - someone you respect - and ask them how they'd describe you.

No need to feel embarrassed or defend yourself.

It's a relief to be honest with someone else about a situation that's been difficult to share. The simple act of honest discussion breaks the hold the situation has had over you.

Who can you talk to?

Step 5

If you don't have someone to talk to, then post to your Next Step community.

You might be surprised about the advice and support you receive.

Will you post?

If you do, then view their comments in your Day Plan.

Step 6

Best to you.

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