Please be patient. A whole new experience is on the horizon...

Start:Jul 02, 2020

Duration:15 Minute(s)

Goal: this Cognitive Trail will improve the ability to separate fact from fiction. (Perception vs. Reality).

Description: 'Perception vs. Reality' is part of The Next Step navigational series designed as a GPS for transition-age foster youth and other young adul ... Read More

Summary:

Step 1

While many of us are trying our best to gain the confidence and ability to trust others, there's an underlying emotion that often pops up that can send us back to square one in a nano second.

Unresolved anger prevents us from achieving either confidence or trust.

Anger is especially problematic if you're often fighting verbally or physically.

Some of us didn't receive the justice we were owed early in life, and the anger keeps building. It becomes the tool we use to get back what we think was taken from us.

The problem is the anger doesn't go away because the real issue that's inside of us is still there.

A sense of injustice often causes us to jump to conclusions, make assumptions and attack others verbally or physically before we determine the truth. Our perception goes haywire, and we believe it to be reality.

This is because sometimes people assume that if they've been treated harshly and unfairly, then they have the right to do the same whenever they sense there's injustice.

But their pain doesn't go away. It increases.

Have you experienced any of this?

Step 2

If taking anger out on others isn't your issue, then maybe it's the opposite.

Do you tend to shut down emotionally, get really quiet, or bolt from the room when confronted by an angry or intense person?

When you try to stand up for yourself, do you sometimes overcompensate, blow up and say or do something drastic?

Like the person whose go-to tool is anger, yours may be bottling that anger, trying to be invisible until you can't stand it anymore.

But the pain is still there.

Does this describe you?

Step 3

There's a way to make that pain go away.

First, you have to confront the deception of perception.

It's not about what other people are doing to you or what you think they're doing to you.

It's what's buried inside of you that fuels the emotion to lash out or run away.

So how do you deal with it? How do you defeat what's trying to defeat you? If it defeats you, then it messes up the best thing about you.

Go back to who you are.

Describe who you are at the core without the pain, without the anger, without the cover up.

Step 4

To deal with the anger, you must first treat the core of who you are - 'inner you' - with the utmost care and the deepest respect. It doesn't get any more personal than that.

Anger is going to offend it and distort it.

Passivity is going to bury it.

How does 'inner you' want to be treated by friends and family?

Step 5

How does 'inner you' want to be treated by people you date?

Step 6

How does 'inner you' want to be treated by coworkers and supervisors?

Step 7

How does 'inner you' want to treat others?

Step 8

Go to the 'video icon' above and watch as Oprah gets advice from the late Miss Maya Angelou.

Watch the second video for yet another perspective.

Let us know if the messages spoke to you positively when you're finished.

Step 9

So...you have some choices to make.

You can be angry.

You can hide the anger.

You can assume people are out to get you before you get the whole story.

You can protect what's best about you - the inner you, the real you - and be somebody's rainbow.

If that last one is the option you choose, then you'll find that your vision will expand.

The anger will start to dissolve. The pain will fade.

You'll find yourself laughing.

You'll want to give people the benefit of the doubt and refrain from judging or acting on assumption.

Truth, not unresolved emotion, will guide your decisions.

You'll forgive the slights and apologize when you've hurt someone. You'll feel at ease where once you felt on edge.

You'll recognize beauty where once you were blind with rage.

What do you think about that?

Step 10

Your choice starts now.

What will it be?

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