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Start:Jul 05, 2020

Duration:10 Minute(s)

Goal: this Cognitive Trail will improve the ability to make friends who bring out the best in you (My Space).

Description: 'My Space' is part of The Next Step navigational series. Use it like a GPS. Each day it gives specific steps to help you choose friends and ... Read More


Step 1

To build a strong group of friends, you have to examine objectively the people you've let into your space.

To clarify, these are the people you chose to have in your life. We're not talking about the people you have no choice to be around daily, such as family or foster family members who live with you, bosses, teachers, etc.

Do you know the difference between a friend who builds you up and keeps you moving in a positive direction and one who drags you down on a consistent basis?

Step 2

Keep the friends who breathe life into you.

You may have to learn to distance yourself from people holding you back or making you work too hard for their friendship.

While it’s never fun to leave a friend, sometimes you have to restrict time spent with a person if they're bringing you down far more than lifting you up. Maybe even disengage altogether.

Wisdom says "bad company corrupts good character.”

List the initials of friends who fall in to the 'drag you down' category.

Step 3

Can you make a commitment to yourself to limit time with people who are not helpful to you and, over time, unfriend people who are destructive to you?

Depending on how much trouble they can be for you, you may have to disassociate with them as soon as possible.

How likely are you to follow this advice?

Step 4

Are you worried about the process?

Step 5

If the decision is hard for you, then think about it this way: If someone is making you feel bad about yourself consistently or may be preventing you from being the man or woman you want to be, then that person needs to go.

Distancing yourself doesn't have to be ugly.

Ways to distance yourself or end the friendship are as follows:
* You're too busy with a new job or school or a sports team, etc.
* Slow your responses to their calls, texts, emails, etc.
* Be honest and let them know you're headed down a different path.
* Gradually slip away from them, limiting time with them until you no longer spend any time at all together.

Those are just some examples to consider. Make sure you select options that truthfully apply to your situation, or you'll just end up in more of a mess if you're found out.

Does this make sense?

Step 6

If you're nervous about ending the friendship, then think about the rest of your friends.

The positive ones aren't likely to hang around the negative one, so they may end up distancing themselves from you.

That means you're in danger of letting someone defeat your best interests.

Think about all of this, but as you think about it, realize you have the power to do something about it. Fear is not your friend. Courage is. You have courage.

Do you agree that negative and/or destructive people must go without any guilt?

Step 7

Start today.

If you want the positive people in your life, then the negative ones have to go.

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